


Dialed Up and Dialed Down

by InsominiacArrest



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Developing Relationship, F/F, Humor, Slice of Life, Wrong Number AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 15:53:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8062648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsominiacArrest/pseuds/InsominiacArrest
Summary: Pearl is a life coach who admittedly doesn’t have most of her life together, when she makes a wrong call to a mysterious number one night instead of a beauty company she starts in a on a relationship with was not entirely prepared for.





	

Pearl was halfway into an in-depth relationship with her gin and tonic when she decided to make the call. She had always been meaning to make the call, it was inevitable really.

She called it three times, annoyed when it went to a faceless voicemail each time. Finally, on the fourth attempt, someone picks up the phone.

“Hello?” The languid female voice greets her and Pearl immediately goes off.

“Yes. Mountain Shimmer Beauty Hair Colorings? I have a complaint. Mainly to do with your auburn hair dye which has in fact, turned my hair a pinkish color. Pink. My customers will not exactly take me seriously now, will they? One even asked me if I was entering into a ‘punk’ stage of life. Simmons, that his name, and I haven’t liked his face since he walked through the door. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Uh, who is this?”  
  
“Pearl Reynolds.” She responds in a clipped tone, “I bought your product a week ago and followed every instruction to the letter, how you stay in business is beyond me.”

A snort comes through on the other end, “Lady you have the wrong number.”

Pearl freezes, “No, no, this is the number the woman at the CVS gave me to call.”  
  
A moment of silence breaks as more snickering erupts from the other end, “she gave you the wrong number then because this is _not_ Pretty Hill _-_

"Mountain Shimmer." She corrects.

 _"_ Beauty Hair Colorings or whatever.” A ruckus of noise, something that may have been a drum in the background erupts. “Knock it off Marcus.” The woman snaps.

Pearl blinks, “are you sure?”  
  
There is a deep hum, “yep. Just checked, still not a beauty care company.”

Pearl furrowed her brow as she recognized patented ‘sarcasm,’ “well then.” She sniffs, “I apologize for the intrusion, have a goo-”  
  
“Wait, I’m invested now, I color my hair too. How many times have you washed it?” Pearl couldn’t tell she was messing with her or not, she takes another sip of her gin.

“Enough I assume, I shouldn't keep you. Good night.” She finishes politely and hangs up, groaning into the speaker as she puts her head in her hands.

Her phone in her hand soon buzzes with a new text.

(20:45) hey here’s a link to site to fix botched dye jobs, check it out mystery lady: [ http://hair.allwomenstalk.com/do-it-yourself-ways-to-fix-a-dye-job-gone-wrong ](http://hair.allwomenstalk.com/do-it-yourself-ways-to-fix-a-dye-job-gone-wrong)

Pearl takes three more sips (questionably gulps of her drink)

_me(20:53): mystery lady? I told you my full name. (Please don’t spread it)_

(20:54): whatever you say

Pearl finishes her drink 

_Me (20:55): if you anything you’re *my* mystery girl, honestly._

She waits and tries to make it to her bed on wobbly legs, she had meetings and training and a Home Depot to visit in the morning- she was redoing her deck once more.

(21:00): I’m pissing, ohmygod

_Me (21:00): you don’t have to tell me that :(_

(21:01) *laughing, jeez, also, try that website pink

_Me (12: 44)...._

_Me (12:47) I will._

(12:48) thanks for waking me up for that in the middle of the night to tell me that, but okay.

Pearl groaned into her pillow later that night and tried to get used to the sight of her dark hair turned a gaudy salmon.

She opens the website.


End file.
